Her

I was pleasantly surprised by a text I got a last week from my friend Sara while sitting in my lavender infused bath. She had sent a picture of two photographs from Anna Killians's BFA photography show, 'Her',  featured in the fine arts building at BYU. Next to the two photographs, side by side, are some words from me and Sara. I don't know Anna personally but a couple of months ago she posted on a Facebook forum I am apart of, asking us Mormon women to answer some questions on the Mormon theology of Heavenly Mother.  Questions like, Do you believe in a Heavenly Mother? How did your journey in the belief start? Where are you now in that journey?

I was a little bit scared as I zoomed in the picture and couldn't make out what words were printed before my name. Call me human, but I had totally forgot I had even submitted anything at all. As flattered as I was, I was also having a nervous conversation with my self in my head. ' I cant decided if I want it to be one of my angsty rants or my constructive rant. Which rant is it??? Nothing edgier with my name on it will ever make it onto the walls of BYU!!'  


I went to for myself to see which one of my rants made it to it's fame and was amazed by how beautiful her work was. Not only are her photographs stunning, but combined the the wide range of responses with women and her interpretations of feminine divine, it was a powerful exhibit to bare witness to.

(you can see all of the photographs here)

Heavenly Mother is a pretty taboo subject to bring up over funeral potatoes and jello. You would raise quiteeee a few eye brows and make a couple of the elderly grab their hearts if you were to mention her over the pulpit. Perhaps it's due to the obscurity and lack of 'revelation' on the subject, or to because we've spent so long with a Patriarchal God we don't know what to do with a woman one. Maybe it's because of ever persisting non-doctrinal cultural beliefs such as, "She is too sacred to be talked about." Mention of Heavenly Mother are few and scattered. Even the article published by BYU compiling every historical reference of her from the beginning of Mormonism until now, is only 28 pages long. The best known reference being from the Mormon hymn 'O My Father' (also one of my fave hymns) penned from the kick butt Eliza R. Snow

In the heav'ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare;
Truth is reason - Truth eternal 
Tells me I've a mother there. 

Although I may not sit in very many church pews or potlucks these days, I still yearn for these conversations and still frequently pull from the ideas of the feminine divine that was instilled in me by my Mormon upbringing. A belief that has kindled curiosity, led me to calling myself a feminist. drawn me closer to my sisterhood, and given me space to explore my own idea of God.