No Goals, No Problem

I've been living without goals for a while now and to most of the population that sounds bonkers. Like... why would you even do that? I have yet to turn into some directionless government mooching couch potato if that makes you feel better. In fact, not to toot my own horn or anything, I'd say I've been quite the productive person as of late. Looking back a couple of years go now, I would have labeled myself as a compulsive goal maker. Notebooks full of ways to challenge myself, to-do lists, and so many many forgotten unchecked boxes. As a tween I was content with this constant life of goal making, maybe even a little bit proud of it. 

When I was fourteen I spent one long Saturday afternoon at a church event where most of the day was filled with a long intense lecture about the necessity of goal’s. It was of course not the first time I had heard lectures on this subject but this time around I was older and stubborn as ever and I at least understood that not only was it not okay that I walked away from that afternoon feeling inadequate and defeated but it would have also been much more effective had we just don’t some talkin’ bout’ Jesus. 

When I got home that day, I trashed the 5 step fail proof goal making plan handout printed on purple cardstock and decided that "goals" in the traditional sense no longer had a place in my life. What was I going to do instead? I had no idea. It was a decision completely based off of gut feeling, I lacked the words and discipline to articulate why I could no longer stay behind this ideology. What I see now, as an older but only slightly wiser 18 year old (gosh that’s still so young) is why it is exactly goals didn't resonate with me.

Life is a story, not an event

The western dialogue around goals has become an almost mathematical one. We are full of one size fits all advice and mantras:  "If you make goals and achieve them you will be happy,"  "If you don't achieve your goals, you didn't have the motivation or focus." " You cant really know what you want or where you're going unless you have a plan" 

Don't make excuses

Believe in yourself

Eye on the prize

If it doesn't scare you you're not thinking big enough

Dream, but only realistically

Goals=progress & growth, progress & growth= success.

Blah, blah, blah, blah

We have easy to remember acronyms, step by step guides, companies, cute pintrest printables, & books FULL of ideas like this

  This is an ineffective and narrow way to view the story of life. Instead of goals being about exploration, they've become a destination. I've got my mind fixated on the stop sign at the end of a long road and to arrive there I have to stay 'focused' and 'motivated'. In this state of mind I allow very little room for adaption and flexibility. I struggle to step back and see the bigger landscape and as a result not only have I risked stifling my creativity I've also missed many alternative and potentially better paths I could have embraced 

Because of this western world view of goals it doesn't really matter all that much what I did to achieve my end ideal. It doesn't matter if i actually enjoyed  myself. What matters is if I actually achieved what I wrote down in my special personalized goal journal. And when we don't succeed in our goals (As many of us don't. Been there done that.) what then? Do we result to guilt? Shame? New goal making seminars? self-help books?

Never give up, Unless you're rational

As Leo Babauta pointed out : "...The problem isn’t you, it’s the system! Goals as a system are set up for failure. Even when you do things exactly right, it’s not ideal. Here’s why: you are extremely limited in your actions. When you don’t feel like doing something, you have to force yourself to do it. Your path is chosen, so you don’t have room to explore new territory. You have to follow the plan, even when you’re passionate about something else."

Goals, for me at least, turned into a loaded word with diluted results. Many times I realized shortly after making a goal, just how shoddy and shortchanged of an experience I had created. But I had to keep going because its my goal, I cant just abolish my goal. That's called giving up, that's called throwing in the towel, that's called FAILURE. And we all know I cant really be happy if I'm a failure. Successful people succeed in their goals.... right?

The truth is, I have no idea where I'm going and I don't really care. Where do I have to go but here? In order for me to live as my highest creative self, and therefore do and see the things I am passionate about, I've had to let go of these expectations and set destinations. I get to live a passionate life everyday. There are no should do's or should have's I am not limited by the places I thought I wanted to go last week or yesterday. My happiness or feeling of success are no long co-dependent on outside variables. I of course still find many ways to push myself but what I do is purported by what I love.

Is this way of viewing life always easy? Not necessarily. I still find myself reverting back to my old mindset. It is still a mental shift I am making. I recognize this view disrupts common cultural thinking, and although it may not be controversial it can open up some different landscapes and learning curves for people. And to be honest you can often sound pretty pretentious when talking about it, even if you don't mean to be. Of course when you take a more nuanced approach you often run into language barriers. I say "Oh, I don't do goals"  and after getting some confused looks and laughs I usually end up getting into a long conversation, starting out as semantics and turning into a discussion on people's goal making philosophies. I've toyed around with a couple of substitute words. As of now I set intentions, but I am in no way obligated to live under them.

"A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. A good artist lets his intuition lead him wherever it wants." - Lao Tzu