Donut Falls

Things that make winter better

1. Kassey finally being back from Pennsylvania

2. Snowshoeing. Always snowshoeing 

3. How ridiculously pretty the Wasatch mountains always are

4. Justin Bieber making music that is actually good. 

5. Space heaters

Woman starts a lot of projects and fails. You'll never guess what she tries next!

At 3:00pm Thanksgiving day I drove by my local Target.  Normally this is where I keep my eyes firmly planted on the road ahead, never breaking eye contact or I'll think about all the awesome things inside of that heavenly store. Today was a little different because Target was closed, and yet as I drive by and glanced to my left at the parking lot I noticed about 20 people and a lot of tape.

My first reaction was, oh my gosh what happened, IS THIS A CRIME SCENE! But then I remembered, Black Friday.

How could I forget that this day exists when I woke up this morning to 32 emails about all the cool deals I could be apart of!  okay yeah scratch that example, It's no one's fault but own that  I can't say no every time a cashier asks me for my email.

This isn't a post about how consumerism mentality is what it wrong with America (a fun table topic), or how I am disowning all of my friends that participated in black Friday (whateva), or how instead of discounted TV's we should have discounted ice cream and hot chocolate (really good idea). This post is about why I am grateful for Black Friday.

(I'm trying to figure out how to not make this a rant)

I'm grateful for Black Friday because it has inspired a series of life long projects. Two years ago on November 26, I experienced this specific Friday for the first time and then promptly decided to never experience it again. Hell is modeled after Black Friday, not the other way around. You were right mom. I'm sorry I didn't listen.

But first, this is my year long philosophy that took many of my life perceptions, and smashed them. I had to stick it on a photo that I took on Black Friday in the mountains (#optoutside) because it's a blogging rule that posts look better when they have a thumbnail. I care about things like thumbnails. Sue me.

This past January 2015 (Look at how far we've made it!) resulted in my first project I like to call THRIFTY BUT NOT SO NIFTY.

As a fellow member of Coupon Clippers Anonymous, I would just like to publicly state what a sucker I am for a good deal. And I always find such good ones. I am the Queen B of spotting Anthropolgie brands at thrift stores. I'm also Queen B of buying things just because they are at a good price.

Capsule Wardrobes and minimalist closets and pretty hip to do right now, I know because I've read every blog post ever written about them.  If I had the $$$ I would immediately throw away 99% of my clothing right now and go purchase my minimalist things, but this is not What Not to Wear, I do not have Stacy and Clinton to assist me in this journey, THIS IS THE LIFE TLC DOESN'T WANT TO AIR.

So here is my approach: Don't buy any clothing/shoes/accessories for an entire year (with 5 exceptions because I'm not heartless)

So that was fun, and I lasted a solid 3 1/2 months.

Aside from me failing, this was actually a way awesome idea and I would recommend it 100%. I learned so much. I got rid of about half of my wardrobe, I hardly ever went into a clothing store, and when I did purchase something I didn't just look at the deal I was getting. I was also much more conscious of the source of my clothing and it's quality. From my calculations I bought about 42% less than I did in 2014. Not too bad.

I did totally had a breakdown over a super awesome dress in GAP but maybe we should forget about that.

The only person I care to be competitive against is myself, so stay tuned for round two in 2016, because me and I both know I can beat 3 1/2 months, easy.

Project two, PRETEND YOU LIVE IN YOUR CAR, was started in August when my family stayed consistent in their moving patterns and moved two blocks. Anyone who has moved knows about that paralyzing moment when you realize how much you hate all of your stuff. (no? maybe it's just me. I feel like I have that moment at least once a week)

So here was my train of thought- Buy 4 storage bins, make everything you own fit into those storage bins (minus furniture and books. My books would take up more than 4 bins) and tada! you can fit all that in your car and it's magic! hahahahaha. You know what I ended up doing? I stuck all I could into 4 storage bins. tossed a couple of things. Got really mad everything didn't fit and then just put everything else in garbage bags. Once again, great idea, 4 out of 10. Will try again at a different time.

Project three is starting next week, it's called ZIP IT LIPPY, in which I get to practice not having an opinion for 2 weeks. (stop laughing.) So please, for two weeks do not ask me what I think the future looks like for One Direction, or if I think couch surfing is a good idea,  or anything that requires an opinion.

I'm gonna ace this one, I know it.

And by ace it, I mean I'm just going to not have to expect much. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Library / Men Explain Things to Me

Two words this time: Kick. Ass.

A few more: Solnit doesn't hold back in this collection of essays. She presents her arguments in such a way that I felt as though she brought me back to the same little place I found myself when I first had to learn what all this meant for me and the world. Her essay on Virginia Woolf is so brilliant I re-read it 6 times. Also the design nerd in me swoons over the excellence of this cover

Here's a taste: "Having the right to show up and speak are basic to survival, to dignity, and to liberty. I am grateful that, after an ealy life of being silenced, sometimes violently, I grew up to have a voice, circumstances that will always bind me to the rights of the voiceless"

Down In The Valley Of Goblins

Goblin Valley has been on the top of my - Places to Go to Get your Butt Off the Lawn Chair 2015 List.- Despite living in Utah for the past 7 years I had never heard of it. I came across some some pictures at the beginning of the year, daydreamed a little, and pinkey swore to myself I would go ASAP ( As Soon As you-have-Pesos).

Come August, we rounded up 9 of our closest anddddd not-so-closest-friends and packed up two cars to their maximum capacity. As usual I was micromanaging everything and had to make sure we had we didn't leave ANYTHING we needed behind (what if someone loses a button? Sewing kit = necessity) but before you assume that it was my fault that we left an hour and a half later than we planned let me say -
1. Thanks a lot, super rude of you. and 
2. It wasn't even my fault at all.

We got to our campsite at about 11:30 pm, full of dreams and leg cramps. Thank goodness we are all so resilient. I could hardly sleep because I WAS THINKING ABOUT ALL THE POTENTIAL FUN THAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN I WASN'T SLEEPING. Logic, ladies and gentleman. Come morning, with that hella pretty gold light the rising sun created, we participated in the most important meal of the day, strapped our over sized fanny packs on and made our way to the most important part of the trip.

The Hike: Ding Dang Canyon (It's Utah, It is our moral obligation to replace every bad word, even in the naming of our canyons)

The Hikers: Just a bunch of innocent 20-ish year olds who didn't know what they were getting themselves into

We started the hike with such optimism. Optimism we would later need to cling to as we risked out lives. One of us was even shoe-less - by choice - (this isn't a new millennial idea of a good time). This hike has the best variety of terrain, views, and material. The chunks of granite along the trail were so gorgeous it could easily be made into the Kardashian’s counter-tops. It was fairly easy…. until we hit our first problem. There had been a lot of rainfall a couple days before making there some left over deep stagnant puddles. No big deal, this is what being the wilderness is about!  We'll get our legs wet! 

But after a while these puddles stopped being puddles and more like an unknown abyss of swimming water. It was practically a paper-rock-scissors battle to see who would go in first. Imagine a big bowl full of leftover orange soup so thick you can’t see the bottom of your bowl and you’re trying to find a spot to rest your spoon but it just keeps sliding into the unknown deepness of your soup! Now, imagine some sticks, and some spiders with small bodies a really long skinny legs who can swim ON TOP of this soup and I think you kind of get the idea.

Despite the 1 foot drops we had to navigate (we got real lucky at some parts) and the fact that the super sketch water up to our chest, it was hands down THE BEST hike I have ever been on. All in all, a 6 mile hike that should have taken about 3, 3 1/2 hours ended up taking us SEVEN. We were just happy we came out with all of our body parts still in a somewhat working order.

Library / Letter to a Hindu

Three words: Educational, valuable, reflective

A few more: A bit of history: You’ve probably heard of Leo Tolstoy, author of those pretty large books such as War and Peace, Anna Karenina, and other highly acclaimed literature. He was also that russian guy with a really large beard, a Christian anarchist, and a believer in non-violence. In 1908 Tolstoy wrote a letter to the editor of an indian publication, Free Hindustan. It was later passed on to Gandhi who translated it from Russian and published it in an Indian newspaper.Then started a letter correspondence between Gandhi and Tolstoy. In fact the last letter Tolstoy wrote before his death was to Ghandi

In the letter Tolstoy argues this: That only through love could the people of India free themselves from the British and that only the through the nonviolent application of love, in the form of peaceful resistance, will there be an alternative to violent revolution  Tolstoy believes that the only way to answer evil is with love.

Here's a taste: "A commercial company enslaved a nation comprising two hundred millions. Tell this to a man free from superstition and he will fail to grasp what these words mean. What does it mean that thirty thousand men, not athletes but rather weak and ordinary people, have subdued two hundred million vigorous, clever, capable, and freedom-loving people? Do not the figures make it clear that it is not the English who have enslaved the Indians, but the Indians who have enslaved themselves?... If the people of India are enslaved by violence, it is only because they themselves live and have lived by violence and do not recognize the eternal law of love inherent in humanity”

For bookshelf or borrowing?: My copy looks like a mangled mess from notes and carrying it around. I’m adding it to my folder of essays I love. You can buy this in book format, but I printed my copy for free online.

Manifesto/01 Food

I am not the poster child for healthy eating even though I talk a lot about it. I don’t always do a good job. I really love In-N-Out and frozen Little Debbie treats are my top-notch comfort food. Sometimes. I don’t give two craps about red dye #40! I used to spend a lot of time being that really annoying person that would tell you all the things that were wrong with your food but still be real hypocritical about it. Like when my friends would eat at McDonalds and I’d get all faked misty eyed and ask them if this was a cry for help, as I would slow-motion-dramatic put a single french in my mouth, never breaking eye contact.  

I like to stay relatable.

Despite all my shortcomings, I like to think I still know a decent amount about what it looks like to eat real, wholesome, healthy food... I just also happen to know what it looks like to fail at it.

I moved out of my parents house (and into a barn with mah friends) for a hot second at the beginning of the year, which was very fun and very hipster of me. I learned many things by doing this, but for the sake of typing space, here are three:

1. I am not equipped to share a sleeping space with 2 other people Or anyone for that matter.    God left that out of my pool of talents. I should not do this for mine and everyone else’s sanity.   

2. I should really re-think the amount of books I have

3. Eating healthy, whole, good feelin food is HARD. (It also didn't help that I kinda didn't really have a kitchen.)

It was also really interesting to examine the changes that happened in my body and mental health when I changed my diet in such and drastic way. I went from eating a balanced plant based diet to struggling to figure out how to eat anything but granola bars.  It took an extreme effect on my ability to function day-to-day. I was constantly lethargic, achy, moody and depressed. I didn't realize that this was in part due to the way I was eating, until I moved back in with my family.       

        

After being back home for a couple of months, I’ve made some new commitments to the way I interact with food. I realized that not only did my diet change affect my body but it also affected the way I thought about food. Where I previously looked forward to my next meal and was excited by food, I then found myself frustrated and putting off eating my next meal because I resented food.

I’ve spent a lot of years consciously observing the way my culture, community and peers interact with food.

My conclusion: It’s weird.

I do agree with the philosophy behind Hippocrates words, “Let they food be thy medicine and medicine thy food” but I also love the point Michael Pollan makes in his excellent book, In Defense of Food,  “Indeed, no people on earth worry more about the health consequences of their food choices than we Americans-and no people suffer from as many diet-related problems. We are becoming a nation of orthorexics: people with an unhealthy obsession with healthy eating.”

He then goes on to then goes on to describe researchers efforts to compare cultural attitudes about food,

“He showed the words “chocolate cake” to a group of Americans and recorded their word associations. “Guilt” was the top response. If that strikes you as unexceptional, consider the response of French eaters to the same prompt: “celebration.”

This further proves to me how unhealthy Americans relationship with food is. We spend more time reading calories and percentages than we do content, we pick food for the claims on its labels. We no longer eat food in pleasure and celebration, but as a necessary evil that we have to participate in, in order to stay alive.

If you are like me, and believe there needs to be a big change in our American diet and food system, then may I suggest a first step may be changing our beliefs about food and the way we interact with it.

To me, eating healthy means a lot of things. It means choosing food as close to its original form as possible. Food that that is colorful, complex and recognizable. If I can't pronounce it or it’s unfamiliar, I don't eat it. It means choosing food from companies that are ethical and sustainable and not buying into marketing labels and trends. I means giving yourself permission to  experience pleasure through the act of eating,. I believe in an intentional diet, of being conscious of my food choices whether they be beneficial to my body or not. it’s intention that allows us to enjoy that pleasure while also allowing us to enjoy the long-term benefits of healthy consumption.

Michael Pollan’s philosophy is simple, (can you tell I like him?)

________________________________________
FAQ

How do you feel about diets? vegetarian? vegan? raw? paleo? laguna beach? Jenny Craig?

I’ve always been very anti-diet. BUT that being said, I want to be clear that I talk about diets I’m not talking those who have to eat a certain way because of an allergy. I do find a lot of value in plant based diets and I know many people who are vegan,vegetarian, raw etc. for a variety of reasons. I find a lot vegan, vegetarian and raw food to be delicious.

I think that if how you eat prevents you from enjoying your food or causes you to be obsessive and feel guilty about eating any differently than what you diet says to, then that's a problem.

Any diet that includes pre-made frozen meals falls under my BS category

“But like, why does it matter how I eat? we’re all going to die eventually”

Let me tell you how many times I get this comment

too many times.
This is how I feel about that comment

I just don’t even bother spending the energy to address this comment because it’s like the crappiest logic and 9 time out of 10 the person saying it doesn't actually care about what they eat or what you have to say in response, they just want to argue.

Do you just love being cliche crunchy granola girl & wearing your Birkenstocks to farmers markets?

Yes, yes I do. I love my Birks. I think everyone would be just a tad bit happier if they all owned a pair.

Sooooo like ‘sugar-free’, ‘fat-free’, cereal with vitamin labels, margarine, what’s the deal?

It’s all crap

crap crap crap

I could have gone a lot of different directions with my post, but I chose not to address anything super specifically. But because I love you, here are my 4 biggest pet peeves when it comes to buying “healthy” food. Please be a smart human and do some further research

Sugar free: if it says those two words on the packaging I never buy it. Why? because the sugar it does contain is aspartame. Aspartame = EW. NO. BAD. and while we’re talking about it all refined sugars (high fructose corn syrup, white sugar, brown sugar, etc.) are like a bad ex-boyfriends. They pop up everywhere, they won't leave you alone and they cause a lot of problems in your life. I recommend getting a restraining order. There are alternatives people!

Fat free: is another big marketing scam. You body needs healthy fat to process your food properly. Fat free food actually makes you more fat. Get the fat.

Vitamin claims on processed foods: there is a big difference between synthetic vitamins and whole food vitamins. That is all.

Margarine: is the devil. Avoid at all costs. If they can’t believe it’s not butter, neither should you. Organic, not messed up butter is GOOD for you.

What’s your secret to never being sick?

THIS IS MY FAVORITE QUESTION THANKS FOR ASKING

Garlic. it is god’s gift.  Thanks to garlic, I’ve only had one illness worse than a cold in 2 years. But even if I have a cold, a couple garlic cloves later and its going down faster than Sodom and gomorrah. 

How to be like me: Take 2-3 cloves, cut into pill sized pieces, swallow with a green smoothie (for some reason this helps me smell less like garlic). repeat every 1-2 months or when feeling a sickness coming on. I do not recommend blending the garlic into your green smoothie. I tried that once and had a lot of regrets

But am I going to smell like garlic? That's gross. People won’t like me.

not being sick > smelling like garlic for a day

Other resources:

-Documentary suggestions:

-If you want to learn about GMO’s I recommend the GMO OMG

-If you want to learn more about sugar I recommend Fed Up

-If you want to learn more about our food system I recommend Food Inc or Hungry for Change

-If you  want to learn more about plant based diets I recommend Vegucated

Books

-In defense of food- Michael Pollan

-The Omnivores dilemma- Michael Pollan

-Animal, Vegetable, Miracle- Barbra Kindgsolver

-Fast food Nation - Eric Schlosser

-The China Study- T. Colin Campbell

Self study #1

Acceptance makes you stop. sit down. stare everything in the face. and say ‘Okay’.

It’s an active surrender. a circular conclave. a salt mine of self-created stories and discomfort

Change,
is not the enemy. 
It is the teacher

And when you walk into the house of acceptance.

It gives you a welcome basket of compassion.

Reminding you, 
that you are not obligated to complete this work. but neither are you free to abandon it.

Bear Lake. Bare Lake. Bur-thday Lake.

Celebrated years of friendship and Mikele's 21st birthday at Bear Lake this weekend  Ever try pedaling a mile on an 8 person bike? Yeah I do it all the time. If you do go check out the million year old caves please be smarter than me and bring a jacket. When will someone figure out that there is a market in bear lake for better food options??? There are simply just too many places that sell corn dogs and bad pizza. 

Library / This Is Water

Three Words: Much. Too. Good.

A few more: I read this speech casually in high school when I was maybe 15ish and somehow managed to not even respect it one bit. I saw that it was published in book form and decided to revisit it as I couldn't even recall what it was. So I read it this week... and the maybe teared up a little. I'm not really sure why, maybe because I wish I could go back in time and hit 15 year old me upside the head and yelled at her for not keeping this around. Maybe because it was not only funny but so incredibly truthful. Or maybe because I remembered about Wallace's death and then I had to mourn this reality way too late.

Here's a taste: "Learning how to think" really means how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot or will not exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. "

No Goals, No Problem

I've been living without goals for a while now and to most of the population that sounds bonkers. Like... why would you even do that? I have yet to turn into some directionless government mooching couch potato if that makes you feel better. In fact, not to toot my own horn or anything, I'd say I've been quite the productive person as of late. Looking back a couple of years go now, I would have labeled myself as a compulsive goal maker. Notebooks full of ways to challenge myself, to-do lists, and so many many forgotten unchecked boxes. As a tween I was content with this constant life of goal making, maybe even a little bit proud of it. 

When I was fourteen I spent one long Saturday afternoon at a church event where most of the day was filled with a long intense lecture about the necessity of goal’s. It was of course not the first time I had heard lectures on this subject but this time around I was older and stubborn as ever and I at least understood that not only was it not okay that I walked away from that afternoon feeling inadequate and defeated but it would have also been much more effective had we just don’t some talkin’ bout’ Jesus. 

When I got home that day, I trashed the 5 step fail proof goal making plan handout printed on purple cardstock and decided that "goals" in the traditional sense no longer had a place in my life. What was I going to do instead? I had no idea. It was a decision completely based off of gut feeling, I lacked the words and discipline to articulate why I could no longer stay behind this ideology. What I see now, as an older but only slightly wiser 18 year old (gosh that’s still so young) is why it is exactly goals didn't resonate with me.

Life is a story, not an event

The western dialogue around goals has become an almost mathematical one. We are full of one size fits all advice and mantras:  "If you make goals and achieve them you will be happy,"  "If you don't achieve your goals, you didn't have the motivation or focus." " You cant really know what you want or where you're going unless you have a plan" 

Don't make excuses

Believe in yourself

Eye on the prize

If it doesn't scare you you're not thinking big enough

Dream, but only realistically

Goals=progress & growth, progress & growth= success.

Blah, blah, blah, blah

We have easy to remember acronyms, step by step guides, companies, cute pintrest printables, & books FULL of ideas like this

  This is an ineffective and narrow way to view the story of life. Instead of goals being about exploration, they've become a destination. I've got my mind fixated on the stop sign at the end of a long road and to arrive there I have to stay 'focused' and 'motivated'. In this state of mind I allow very little room for adaption and flexibility. I struggle to step back and see the bigger landscape and as a result not only have I risked stifling my creativity I've also missed many alternative and potentially better paths I could have embraced 

Because of this western world view of goals it doesn't really matter all that much what I did to achieve my end ideal. It doesn't matter if i actually enjoyed  myself. What matters is if I actually achieved what I wrote down in my special personalized goal journal. And when we don't succeed in our goals (As many of us don't. Been there done that.) what then? Do we result to guilt? Shame? New goal making seminars? self-help books?

Never give up, Unless you're rational

As Leo Babauta pointed out : "...The problem isn’t you, it’s the system! Goals as a system are set up for failure. Even when you do things exactly right, it’s not ideal. Here’s why: you are extremely limited in your actions. When you don’t feel like doing something, you have to force yourself to do it. Your path is chosen, so you don’t have room to explore new territory. You have to follow the plan, even when you’re passionate about something else."

Goals, for me at least, turned into a loaded word with diluted results. Many times I realized shortly after making a goal, just how shoddy and shortchanged of an experience I had created. But I had to keep going because its my goal, I cant just abolish my goal. That's called giving up, that's called throwing in the towel, that's called FAILURE. And we all know I cant really be happy if I'm a failure. Successful people succeed in their goals.... right?

The truth is, I have no idea where I'm going and I don't really care. Where do I have to go but here? In order for me to live as my highest creative self, and therefore do and see the things I am passionate about, I've had to let go of these expectations and set destinations. I get to live a passionate life everyday. There are no should do's or should have's I am not limited by the places I thought I wanted to go last week or yesterday. My happiness or feeling of success are no long co-dependent on outside variables. I of course still find many ways to push myself but what I do is purported by what I love.

Is this way of viewing life always easy? Not necessarily. I still find myself reverting back to my old mindset. It is still a mental shift I am making. I recognize this view disrupts common cultural thinking, and although it may not be controversial it can open up some different landscapes and learning curves for people. And to be honest you can often sound pretty pretentious when talking about it, even if you don't mean to be. Of course when you take a more nuanced approach you often run into language barriers. I say "Oh, I don't do goals"  and after getting some confused looks and laughs I usually end up getting into a long conversation, starting out as semantics and turning into a discussion on people's goal making philosophies. I've toyed around with a couple of substitute words. As of now I set intentions, but I am in no way obligated to live under them.

"A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. A good artist lets his intuition lead him wherever it wants." - Lao Tzu